Babysitting
by Still Shots
Summary: Mathias was forced to give his godson, Peter "The Talk" while babysitting him, due to unexpected...circumstances. /AU,OneShot, implied SuFin and DenNor, Some awkward moments and mentions of Arthur's cooking./


_**Babysitting**_

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><p><em>I will give you one minute.<em>

_-Mathias_

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><p>Scrambling to run as he closed his cellphone, he hurried through the hallway, breaking a vase as he tripped and slid unto a lamp. "NOOOOO!" he yelled, fear lacing his voice, as he stood up and continued to run.<p>

He then burst into the living room, into the open arms of a lauging Mathias Kohler.

"You're late. I think someone deserves a tickle attack."

Peter then laughed in uncontrollable fits as Mathias' hands assaulted his weak spots. "No~!" He laughed, trying to ward him off. "Uncle, please stop- No, no, Uncle Mathias, please stop~" he managed to say in between desperate gasps for air.

"Fair enough," Mathias leaned back and grinned at him as he tried to compose himself. "Anyway, I'm supposed to look after you for a while since your parents are busy. Want to get some coffee?"

Peter pouted at him. "How old do you think I am?" Mathias laughed and shook his head. "Sorry, kiddo. I thought you were Niels." Peter chose not to point out and ask how the hell he thought he was Niels, and instead, told him, "'Sides, I don't like coffee. It tasted icky." He tried not to laugh at his uncle's face and asked, "How is Uncle Niels, anyway?"

Mathias blinked for a moment, then he looked away and scratched his head. "You know, the same."

Peter tilted his head, but before he could say anything, Mathias said, "How about go get something to eat? I'll let you try a Krumkake." He glanced down the hall at his parents' bedroom, then back up to his godfather. "Yeah, I would like that, but..." Again, he looked back to the end of the hallway, this time for a bit longer. "What are Mama and Papa doing? Papa usually hates spending money."

Mathias placed his chin on his palm. "Huh. I was going to pay, but you gave me an idea..." He noticed something by the doorway. Biting his lips, he asked, "Is that you father's wallet there?"

"I think so."

"Say no further. Let's go."

He tugged on his godfather's sleeve and pulled him back down. "Wait, you didn't answer my question. What's so important that Mama and Papa won't let me into their bedroom?" He stared up intently, waiting for an answer with unblinking eyes.

Mathias awkwardly laughed, glancing at the hallway. "How old are 'ya, kid? Didn't any of them tell you anything yet?"

He cocked his head at this, confused, and crossed his arms. "I'm nine. Talked about what?"

"What about your school, then?"

"About what?"

Now Mathias is visibly agitated, and awkwardly laughed again. "Er, the bird and the bees? Any, uh, ideas? Does it ring any...bells?"

"Nope. Nothing of the sort."

Sighing, he sat down and whispered to his godson, "Look, kid, you're old enough to understand this, but I don't think Berwald would be too happy with me, so it's a secret, okay?"

Both looked over at the hallway for a third time. Mathias gulped, and Peter wondered what those sounds he was hearing were about. "Okay. Secret. Gotcha."

Another gulp from his godfather. "Okay. How do I start..." he muttered. "Well, kiddo, when two people , in this case being your Mom and Dad, love each other, er, very much..."

Silence. "Yes?"

"Don't ask me. I just learned that opening from watching television."

"Oh."

Mathias bit his lips. "Okay, we have made it very clear that you need to love each other a lot. Like, a lot. Unless there's alcohol, or drugs, or Arthur's cooking and some Francis, but we're not going in there for now. Anyway, they gotta, er, _consummate,_" He sighed. This isn't his job, dammit. He gave this talk to Berwald, but that was then. "for the lack of better word, pee-pee...?"

He raised a confused eyebrow at his godfather's vocabulary choice. "Uh… I guess."

"Good. Well, during this...consummate that were said, yours makes… contact with hers."

More confusion. "What's the point of it?"

Silently, Mathias contemplated on how the hell he landed on this situation, and wondering if Niels would make him a coffee later. "Well, for one, that's how you were made." He reminded himself to tell Niels that he would not be the one to give this talk to Erik.

Bored, Peter sat back on the couch and stared at the ceiling. "I don't get it, and I don't want to. Your explanations are too blurry." He looked back at Mathias. "Are we going to eat yet?"

"I don't know, kiddo." He grinned, forgetting for a moment what's happening down the hallway. "You have a flat-screen television here, and it's just about six o'clock right now-"

Some sort of groan was heard fron the hallway, and a voice -Mathias was thinking it was Tino's, moaned, in a sort of pleasurable way, which gradually escalated in volume and intensity.

Mathias glanced backwards, alarmed, and hoisted Peter on his shoulders, running out of the house.

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><p>[AN:

Just a litle drabble I made. Yeah.

As per usual, I don't own Hetalia~ And I'm sorry for any mistakes, and stuffs. Yeah.

Today is my birthday, so please review~! XD ]


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